I have started putting updates there more regularly. The early days following Cord’s loss the words that filled the previous volumes came easily; they were cathartic to type. I suspect as we move forward the focus will be more toward the ‘continuing the work’ of our mission as opposed to ‘celebrating the life’ 100% of the time.
It is difficult to comprehend that we are already one year post March 20, 2021. As protracted as many days have been, the 12 months seem to have flown by. The question I am most often asked is, “how are you guys doing?” There is no static answer for that question, even when asked at separate times during the same day. Cord’s vacancy in our lives is much like humidity in the summer in Texas. It is pervasive. Some days, it is overwhelming and cannot be escaped as it is felt in every aspect of our being. At other times you are aware of it but not overly impacted. It is not something you ‘just forget.’ It is a part of who we are now.
In thinking about writing this I tried to come up with positives from the past year. It seems we have become much more intentional in making time to be with family and friends, some of whom we had lost touch with over the past ten to twenty years. Our closest friends have developed the skills for knowing just when a phone call, a walk down our county road or some time in the shop is most needed.
Blake and Brooke were married in June and Cord’s presence was real throughout the entire day. Elizabeth helped Dylan and Emily settle into their new apartment the week after Christmas. Dylan refers to her as ‘little sister.’ We will be at her graduation from UT the end of May. We are glad she is still a part of our family. Melanie and I have been able to meet many fabulous folks at the Steve Hicks School of Social Work at UT Austin. They have been able to get a sense of the passion we have to move Cord’s legacy forward and have willingly joined in. Blake and Dylan will award the first CJR Memorial Scholarship in May at Kaufman High School. It’s been a busy year.
We have also been continuously reminded we are not alone in this reality. As our friend Reed Oliver said to me a year ago, “you’ve joined a fraternity I never wanted you to be part of.” Friends like Reed and Mikki, Rob and Stephanie, Daryl and Sherrie, Greg and Kristin and Brent and Julie who have walked this same path have been immensely helpful by modeling what it looks like to keep moving forward, even when we do not sense a way to do so.
We continue to be frustrated by the global supply chain hinderances that have kept Cord’s headstone from being delivered. We are told it is to be set soon, but it has yet to be placed. His ring has not yet been located. We miss calling him and hearing, “what’s up?”
It has been one year. There have been horrible moments, not-horrible moments, good moments, and just plain old moments. Thanks for joining us up to this point. Keep talking about our boy. Keep remembering how he impacted your life. Keep Melanie, Blake, Brooke, Dylan, Emily, Elizabeth and myself in your thoughts and prayers. We miss him every day and look forward to seeing him again one day.
